Relationships in the Family of God

(1 Timothy 5:1-2 – Relationships in the Family of God)

As Christians we have been called to become a family. We are the family of God.

Eventually it is expected that we will all live in perfect harmony in the kingdom of God. But until we reach that time and place, we need to understand our relationships in the family of God. We need to learn how to deal with issues, disputes, and so on.

And within the relationships in the family of God we must learn what is appropriate and behave in appropriate ways. This scripture today looks at aspects of the relationships in the family of God and gives guidance in these things.

Leaders versus ministers in the church

There is a leadership structure in the church that was ordained by God. It is basically like that of a family.

We must not confuse leadership with those who are ministers of the church. They are two very different things.

The ministries that are appointed in the church are appointed by God. We see this in Ephesians chapter 4 where the various ministry gifts are given to the church. The purpose of those gifts are also defined in that section of scripture too.

11 And his gifts were that some should be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the cunning of men, by their craftiness in deceitful wiles. (Ephesians 4:11-14)

The ability to operate in any of these five ministries cannot be given by one person to another. These are gifts from God to specifically do this work.

But just because someone is given a gift does not immediately make them a leader in the church. A person who God gives the gift to be a pastor is not necessarily a leader in the church.

However, those who ARE leaders in the church may hold one or more of the gifts from God, but that is not their doing. They are gifts from the Lord, distributed to those that He believes are best able to do that work.

Leaders in the church

When it comes to the leaders in the church, these are appointed by the church to serve the church in more perfunctory roles.

According to scripture, the leaders in the church are the Elders. Their role is to look after the physical and spiritual health of the church. They are to ensure the soundness of the doctrine of the church and also ensure the physical needs of the church, among other duties.

When the workload gets too great, then deacons may be appointed to assist and help the Elders.

According to scripture these are the only two leadership roles in the church: Elder and Deacon. They may be filled by either men or women and are appointed by the church or other leaders in the church, and then brought to God in prayer to ratify the choices.

Nowhere in scripture are there senior elders or senior deacons as we often see in some churches today. And whilst an Elder or deacon may have a ministry gift as well, it is not a prerequisite.

I should add that a person is not made a leader because of their ministry gift. Instead they are selected for the role of Elder or deacon based upon their faithfulness to the Lord and their ability to serve the church for the betterment of the congregation.

But because we are not yet perfected in the image of God, we need to understand how to deal with the members of the church. We need to better understand our relationships in the family of God.

Relationships in the Family of God

The key to understanding how this works lies in the word “family.”

In Christ we are members of God’s family, and we ought to behave as such. We need to look at the other members of our Godly family in different ways.

As a family, we are all equal to one another. No one is more important than anyone else and we all need to love and protect one another, just as a blood related family would do.

But like a blood related family, at times there will be disagreements and issues in the family of God. There will be times when we don’t see eye to eye, and there will be times when discipline is necessary. And it is then that we must consider the relationships in the family of God.

Paul has given us excellent guidance how to do this in this verse today.

1 Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as you would a father; treat younger men like brothers, 2 older women like mothers, younger women like sisters, in all purity. (1 Timothy 5:1-2)

Dealing with Elders and leaders in the church

There is a problem in the way this verse has been translated. It suggests that Paul is talking about older men and women in these words.

But that is not what this verse actually says. It is really talking about how to deal with men or women in the church who are Elders of the church, and typically they will be older but not necessarily.

The Elders hold positions of authority in the Church and are accountable to God and the church for the work they do.

But that doesn’t mean they are perfected in the image of Christ yet. They still make mistakes and they can be ensnared by the devil, just as anyone else can be. And if they do make mistakes, they need to be brought to account for it and to repent and return to the path of righteousness.

In this scripture, Paul exhorts Timothy to deal with the Elders who have made errors in the same way you would deal with and older member of your blood family. You don’t bawl out and rebuke a grandfather or grandmother as you might a young child. Instead you talk to them about the issue with reason and reverence, that they might repent and turn around.

Paul is saying that you speak to the Elders as leaders in the church as you would a father or a mother. You come to them with respect and dignity and help them to see the truth of whatever the issue might be.

It is just like a blood related family. The Elders are not above making errors and they too will need correction and direction from time to time. But do it in a spirit of love, mercy, and compassion as befits someone who is older, whether physically or older in the Lord.

And we do have the right to question whatever an Elder says or decides, if and when we believe it might not be right in the light of scripture. If we believe there is an error in doctrine or behaviour from an Elder that opposes the scriptures, then it needs to be corrected and the matter needs to be raised with them.

They should then be able to either justify their position based upon a correct reading of the scriptures, or they should be able to see their error and repent.

Relationships in the family of God with younger members

The way we might deal with our physical parents and grandparents is different to how we deal with our physical brothers and sisters. This holds true also for our relationships in the family of God.

We are instructed in this scripture to deal with younger members of the church as if they are our brothers or sisters. And in fact they are our siblings in Christ.

We speak and act with them as we would our physical siblings. And in the case of our sisters in Christ, we treat them with respect and purity, as deserved by a sister in the Lord. In fact in all dealings with the members of the body of Christ, whether Elders or younger brethren, we should behave with purity and honesty. We should seek the best outcomes for the whole church.

Sometimes living in a family can be difficult. It is no different in the family of God.

But using discretion and considering the spiritual needs of others, we can deal with any situation in the family of God. And it is important that we learn how to live with this family of God now, because in due course we will be living with them for eternity.

So start now. Build up the relationships in the family of God and consider how to deal with those in the church when or if something goes wrong, for the benefit of all.

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