Godly Love

(Philemon 1:17-25 – Godly love)

This final section of the letter of Paul to Philemon is very important. It gives us a great insight into how Paul was showing godly love.

Paul makes the point that he could have insisted on what he wanted Philemon to do. But that was not what would be best in the situation. We noted in the last couple of posts that Philemon and Onesimus were brothers. But they had a serious falling out, and it is clear that there was money involve as well as the bad blood between them.

Paul, in his wisdom, or rather in the wisdom of the love of God, knew that these two brothers needed to reconcile. So, he came up with a plan that would reconcile the two brothers while showing godly love as well.

Showing Godly love does not raise walls

Here is the first key to Paul’s plan, but before we examine it we should read the words under review.

17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand, I will repay it–to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. 22 At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping through your prayers to be granted to you. 23 Ep’aphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, 24 and so do Mark, Aristar’chus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers. 25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (Philemon 1:17-25)

Anytime there is a dispute, there will be two sides opposing each other. Inevitably, when they come together and argue they put up walls and barriers that prevent having a real dialogue. And when that happens, the chance of showing godly love will become almost impossible.

Paul clearly knew this. He understood that to have walls between these two brothers was counterproductive. While the barriers remained they would continue to be at loggerheads.

Things had changed

Now, the situation was that Onesimus had come under Paul’s wing. He was converted and taught by Paul in the ways of the Lord and he had repented of his past ways. And it would appear evident that Onesimus wanted to rectify the problems with his brother, otherwise it seems strange that Paul went into bat to help him. (I should add that the scripture does not say this, it is speculation on my part, but it seems a likely scenario).

But it is also evident that whatever had happened between the brothers had cut deep. Philemon had not forgiven Onesimus even though he had changed his ways. Philemon was not showing godly love towards his brother, despite the fact that earlier in Paul’s letter, he had commented on the love of Philemon towards others.

But showing the love of God to his own brother seemed beyond his ability at that time.

How many of us have been in the same place? How many of us have held grudges against a family member or a friend and been unwilling to forgive them, even when they repent?

This is certainly not showing godly love. And we see the love of God in action in the words of Jesus when He said:

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22)

When a person sins against you and seeks repentance, then we are obliged to forgive them. And as Jesus said, even if they do it many, many times in a day, you must forgive them.

Unfortunately, it seems as though Philemon still had to learn that lesson.

Removing the barriers to showing the love of God

Paul understood the saying, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” It may not have been a saying in his day, but the implication was clear in what Paul did.

In the first verse and also the earlier sections of this letter, Paul is speaking of the good that Philemon was recognised for. He spoke of the godly love he showed to visitors. And in verse 17 Paul suggests that Philemon was a partner of his.

Because of this Paul built up the expectation that Philemon would see the light and do what was right. Paul expected Philemon to change his ways, forgive Onesimus, and show the love of God to his brother that he deserved.

But Paul went much further than that. He wasn’t trying to “butter up” Philemon with nice words. Paul expected that Philemon both would and should do what was right, despite the past issues between the brothers.

And Paul took the situation one step further to remove all possible barriers to this reconciliation.

We know that there was clearly a significant financial debt between the brothers. Onesimus owed his brother Philemon a significant amount of money.

So, in order to remove all barriers to reconciliation, Paul offered to pay Onesimus’ debt. He put his own money on the line for the sake of the two brothers so that there would be no barriers to reconciliation.

This was godly love in action in a very practical and physical way. It showed the length that Paul was prepared to go to in order to see this relationship breakdown rectified.

A lesson for all

This is a powerful lesson from which we can all learn.

First, we must not let the things of this world (money) get between us and our family, friends or brethren. And if money is an issue, we need to take a leaf out of Paul’s book and do all we can to overcome the issue.

Second, we need to be showing godly love to family and friends, but even more to our brothers and sisters in Christ. These are the people we plan to spend an eternity with, so we had better learn to get along with them now.

Third, we must remember that everything of this world is and will pass away. Nothing in the world is eternal, even the universe itself will pass away. But the love of God is eternal, and showing godly love is the only thing that will last.

So, finally, in all situations, seek to show godly love so that you can be truly called a child of the Father.

You might also like:

Love Your Enemies
God Is Merciful
The Good Samaritan
For God So Loved The World
How To Love Jesus
Parables And The Love Of The Father
Expression Of True Love
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If God Is For Us
Love The Great Commandment
Power Of Love
What Is Love
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Opportunities To Do Good
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Respectful Relationships
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Forgiving Your Brother
The Prodigal Son
The Prodigal Sons Big Brother
Repentance And Forgiveness
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Walking Properly With Christ