Brotherly Love

(Philemon 1:10-17 – Brotherly Love)

Throughout the Bible there is one theme that ties everything together. It is the idea of love. It has many parts and facets, but one that is often referred to is the idea of brotherly love.

This idea of brotherly love is the key concept in the letter of Paul to Philemon. And what is also interesting is that the idea is even contained in the name “Philemon.” The root of this name comes from one of the three Greek words for love. That word is “philo,” which is the word for brotherly love and the love of friends.

However, what we see in this letter is the serious issue of when brotherly love falls apart. The purpose of Paul’s letter is to attempt to mend this problem to bring Philemon back to repentance over this issue. He is seeking restoration of the brotherly love between Philemon and Onesimus and we see this unfold in these verses.

When brotherly love goes wrong

There is trouble between Philemon and Onesimus, and it seems to run deep, especially on the part of Philemon. Look at what these verses tell us.

10 I appeal to you for my child, Ones’imus, whose father I have become in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. 13 I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel; 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own free will. 15 Perhaps this is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back for ever, 16 no longer as a slave but more than a slave, as a beloved brother, especially to me but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. 17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. (Philemon 1:10-17)

It is clear that there is a great rift between Philemon and Onesimus that Paul is seeking to repair. As we look at the scriptures, we see just how great this rift is. We also see what lengths Paul is willing to go to in order to bring these two men back together in the bonds of brotherly love.

What went wrong between these two men

Paul makes a point that at one time, Onesimus was “useless.” I take that to mean that he had fallen foul of Philemon to the point where he was more of a liability than an asset.

We note in verse 16 that Onesimus had been a slave to Philemon. But the fact that he was “useless” suggests he was not much good as a slave.

But as we read the rest of verse 16, we see that Paul is asking Philemon to restore Onesimus as a beloved brother. Paul wants Philemon to show brotherly love towards this man previously described as useless. And at the end of verse 16 we see just how deep this rift is because we find out that Onesimus was not just a slave, he was actually a brother by blood to Philemon. These two men were physical brothers and Paul was seeking them to become brothers in love in Christ.

How Onesimus became a slave to Philemon is not stated, but the fact that Paul offers to pay the debt of Onesimus to Philemon, suggests that Onesimus borrowed from his brother and either would not or could not repay it. That would be one possibility by which he became a slave. His slavery may have been to pay off the debt. And perhaps Onesimus could not or would not do the work and ran away.

This seems to be the basis of this dispute between the two brothers.

A process of reconciliation

At some point after Onesimus left Philemon, he found his way to Paul. It is clear that this was during one of the periods when Paul was imprisoned for preaching the gospel as we see in verse 13.

Onesimus was converted while with Paul. He found Christ and gave his heart to the Lord. He repented and turned his life around, and as we see in the first half of the scripture, he became very dear to Paul who saw him more as a son. Paul was more than happy to have Onesimus with him, but he also realised that the situation between Philemon and Onesimus needed to be resolve. It is not right that brothers be at odds with one another, especially brothers in Christ AND brothers in the flesh.

So, Paul wrote to Philemon seeking his love to show through. He was sending the prodigal back home and hoping that Philemon would do the right things and forgive his brother, and welcome him back into his home and his heart.

In this process of reconciliation, Paul was aiming to remove all of the potential stumbling blocks that might prevent Philemon exercising brotherly love towards Onesimus. Paul was doing everything within his power to bring these two men back together so that they could stand united in Christ.

And that is the point of this walk we take as Christians. Our aim is love. We aim to love God and to fulfil the “Royal Law” as James called it in his letter.

8 If you really fulfil the royal law, according to the scripture, “You shall love your neighbour as yourself,” you do well. 9 But if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. 10 For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it. (James 2:8-10)

This is the aim of all Christians: to love your neighbour as yourself.

But where there is partiality, there is no love. And the basis of that partiality or prejudice could be from many sources. In the case of Philemon, he could not be impartial towards his brother because of the things Onesimus had done. And Paul wanted to see that rectified for the sake of brotherly love.

A lesson in brotherly love for all

This letter to Philemon is a great lesson we can all learn from.

Families can be difficult, and even friendships can struggle at times. But in Christ we need to overlook the differences we see in our friends and family members and walk in love with all of them. In fact that same brotherly love needs to extend to strangers as well, just as occurred in the story of the Good Samaritan. Whenever a need or a situation arises where we can help, we ought to do so. By helping those who have a need, where we are able to do so, is to show brotherly love towards them, and fulfils the Royal Law.

For the sake of your salvation, be prepared to forgive and overlook the failings and weaknesses of others. Help them when you can, but be compassionate at all times. Do not allow great walls to build up between you and other, as Philemon had this barrier between himself and his brother. Instead, seek to break down the barriers and build reconciliation instead.

Learn from Philemon and put these lessons into practice, and you will be living in a place built on brotherly love.

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